What Meditation Is Really Suppose To Be

“If you are unable to find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?” – Dogen Zenji

Meditation is simple. Yes it is very simple. But it is NOT easy. I mean, it should be easy. What could be so hard about sitting there with your eyes closed? Lots actually. And the reason it’s hard is the beautiful, secret gift of meditation.

When you are just sitting there, not moving, silent, everything that is happening is all happening within you. To sit in meditation is to come face to face with the clutter and disorganization of your own inner world.

“What? I thought the purpose of meditation is make you peaceful? Not to sit in a bunch of internal clutter and chatter!” Well, it does do that whole quiet mind peaceful thing… eventually. But first we must be willing to get to know ourselves.

Getting To Know The Real You

You see, we have all been trained since birth to ignore, suppress or avoid our feelings. We have become experts in suppression. Mommy or Daddy didn’t like something when you were little, so that behavior (even if it was totally natural to you), and the feeling that produced it, had to be avoided. “When I do this Mommy is happy. When I do that, she is not. Guess I should do this.”

This is not actually happening as a conscious decision. I mean, this starts before you can even talk, let alone think. This sorting through behaviors and enhancing the ones that get best rewards from the environment while eliminating the ones that don’t is, what the nervous system was designed to do. And it does it perfectly!

Of course, the system can’t actually get rid of the behavior or the impulse to be like that. It can’t get rid of it because it is who you are. Sometimes the suppressed behavior is actually the part that is the most natural to you. It may be your biggest gift actually.

So Why Is It Hard?

What happens when you just sit still for a moment, breathe, and focus your attention inside? Well, all that suppressed energy starts to come up. Since it is natural to you it wants to express itself. Just like it did when you were a tike. When it does start to emerge, all of the mechanisms that were put into place to keep it from coming out get triggered. That is what is actually happening but what you will feel will be something like this:

  • Your mind wanders
  • You fidget
  • You get bored
  • You wonder “Am I doing this right?”
  • You get itches
  • You open your eyes to look at some sound you heard
  • You suddenly realize that you have been thinking about that thing you have to do for the last 6 minutes

In other words, you experience almost constant distraction.

Congratulations! You are really meditating.

“What? I thought meditation is when you get all blissed out and peaceful and sing Kumbaya?” Actually it isn’t. Meditation is when you are with yourself, just as you are! No filters, no agenda, no trying to get something, no trying to fix anything. This is meditation. It is not self-help.

To really meditate is to come into an attitude of self-acceptance, wherein you really honor yourself. You give yourself a safe place to be. It is a state of deep honesty. With it you provide yourself a environment of healing where all of the hurts, the disappointments, the traumas, the defensive postures, indeed, all the inner walls can come down. In meditation, you become you own best friend.

Meditation is Self-Love

I find it funny and a bit sad when, shortly after beginning a meditation practice, people get frustrated and either drop it or start beating themselves up for not getting it. Motivated by the great promise of peace or even enlightenment we immediately fall back into the old habits of self-criticism, blame and struggle.

So next time you sit down to meditate, even if it is only for 5 minutes, just notice what is happening inside of you. Instead of trying to ”get peaceful,” just be present with yourself, just as you are! For just a moment, allow everything to be as it is. It doesn’t matter if just as you are feels terrible, or anxious or even angry. Just be with it.

The desire and the willingness to be with yourself, just as you are, for even a few moments IS meditation

When you do that, you find not only that it is simple, but that it is the greatest gift you have ever given yourself. And you deserve that gift!

Join GP and 24 other meditation masters in the first annual Mediation Event. A free online telesummit. To register visit http://LOA20.com/med.